What Kids Teach Us About God

Yesterday morning was an interesting one and not at all like what I hope most mornings are like, but they do happen from time to time. I feel a little bit like Chuck Dickens (his friends call him Chuck) because it truly was "the best of times" and "the worst of times." I've had a great season lately of consistent early morning time with the Lord and have a new hideout to do so . . . the park across the street. The benefits of this are that I get to be alone with the Lord while watching his magnificent sunrise every morning and no 4 year olds interrupting me. But it rained the night before and was a little damp, so I decided I would hang out inside yesterday morning. So Josiah woke up early and interrupted my time, which is fine, except that when I told him what he was allowed to do and what he was not allowed to do now that he was awake, he didn't like his options and massive melt down fit throwing ensued. This led to various attempts at discipline that ended with me putting him in his room and leaving him there to scream and cry all by himself and completely ignore him (or at least try to).

Did I mention that I was trying to read and journal? So as I sat attempting to hear from the Lord, He spoke to me in the cries of my little boy who was screaming, "DADDY! WHERE ARE YOU? HELLO? IS ANYBODY HERE?" And all of a sudden I was in my mind in the Psalms where David and other writers say things like, "How long, O Lord? Will you hide yourself forever?" (Ps. 89:46) and reflecting on seasons of silence that I've been through, mostly due in part to my own pursuit of self and sin, much like Josiah yesterday morning. I realized in that moment, just how gracious and loving God's silence is. You see, I believe that when we pursue self, that God will at times allow us to have as much of ourselves as we'd like, only for us to find out, like Josiah did, that all of myself, all by myself is not as much fun as it appeared to be on the front end. Consequently, we begin to scream, "Daddy, where are you?" as we ache for the intimacy of relationship with him that our sin has broken (disclaimer: not all seasons of silence are the result of sin, I realize, but the vast majority are). You see, Josiah wanted me to bend to his will (cartoons, computer games, running around the house at 6:30 in the morning) rather than him submitting to the will of his daddy. That's not how daddy's should work, because that's not how God works. He will at times let you go there, but you're not dragging him with you.

Which leads to this other observation. While Josiah genuinely began to worry that I wasn't there anymore and that he was completely alone in the house, I hadn't gone anywhere. I was here in the kitchen, writing all of this stuff down. I was continuing to provide protection and provision for him because I love him and would never leave my little boy alone in the house, and once again, I remember that this must be a glimpse of what God does with us. That even in the seasons of silence, he is not too far that his arm can't reach us. That's grace.

So at the end of it all, after the weeping and gnashing of teeth had subsided, Josiah and I talked. And I told him that from here on out, when he is being selfish, that we will let him be selfish, but it will be all by himself. I told him I would give him as much of himself as his little heart desired, but he would have to enjoy it all alone. He seemed to get it. Ironically, as I was typing this he came out again (at 5:45 in the morning), but this time he listened to the options his daddy gave him and did it. Proud of you, little man! You set an example for me. Praying that we will listen to the voice of our Daddy through His Son, Jesus, and obey and, in that way, be like the wise man who builds his house on the rock!